Episode ?: A Bat-ticular Problem (Assembled)

A Bat-ticular Problem, was an Assembled episode scripted by Daniel and was going to be a crossover of the MARVEL and DC Universes. This episode was going to feature Daniel as Robin and Batman had yet to be cast at the time.

A Bat-ticular Problem (Script)
''' ASSEMBLED: EPISODE ? '''

 Cast: 

Tony Stark

Steve Rogers

Natasha Romanoff

Clint Barton

Bruce Wayne/Batman

Dick Grayson/Robin

(BATMAN is being chased down the street with ROBIN by an angry mob)

Robin: Holy Angry Mob, Batman…why are they chasing us!

Batman: I’m Batman!

Robin: Yea…I know! But why are they chasing us!

Batman: My parents are dead!

Robin: Good for you! BUT WHY ARE THEY CHASING US!

Batman: I’m Batman!

Robin: You know what, never mind…just never mind!

(Camera pans over to see the NEWS REPORTER on the ‘scene’)

News Reporter: Hello there people of New York City and Gotham…It’s Azizica Johnson reporting live from Gotham Park, where it appears that Batman and Robin are being chased by an angry mob…

(BATMAN and ROBIN gradually come closer to the NEWS REPORTER throughout her monologue)

News Reporter (cont'd): However, we don’t know why Batman and Robin are being chased by an angry mob but as soon as we do we’ll let you know Jim, back to you…

(BATMAN and ROBIN run into the NEWS REPORTER and the CAMERA MAN; the TV goes fuzzy.)

TWANSITION

(Back at Avengers Mansion, the camera shows TONY in a bathrobe watching the News.)

Tony: Well…guess that’s enough of the news.

(In the background, someone’s knocking on the door)

Steve: Tony, someone’s at the door…

(*knock knock*)

Tony: CLINT! Get the door

Clint: (in the Background) NO!

Steve: Tony, get the door!

(TONY gets off the couch, grumbling)

Tony: I shouldn’t have to get the door, I’m Tony Stark! Tony Stark doesn’t open doors…people open doors for me!

(TONY opens the door; BATMAN and ROBIN are at the door)

Tony (cont'd): Bruce!

Batman: I’m Batman!

Robin: And I’m Robin!

Tony: How’d you get here so fast…you literally were just on TV…how?

Batman: I’m Batman

Tony: Works for me…Why are you here?

(Steve walks to the door)

Steve: Who’s this?

Robin: Who’s this? WHO’S THIS? Holy Shit Batman! He doesn’t know who you are!

Steve: Oh, he’s Batman

Robin: How the hell, do you not know who this is?

Steve: He’s Batman

Robin: Like seriously…he’s the best superhero ever!

Tony: I beg to differ…Steve’s pretty cool.

Robin: Tell him…tell him who you are Batman!

Batman: I’m Batman!

Robin: Yea you are!

Steve: I already knew that!

Robin: Oh, you did…(to TONY) you may proceed.

Tony: Thank-you…Why are you here?

Batman: My Parents are dead!

Tony: I don’t care…why are you here?

Batman: We were being chased by an angry mob…when we hit this news reporter, then the whole news team started chasing us too. So we thought we could stay here with you…since, since we’re buddies!

Tony: Buddies! BUDDIES! (Tearing up) Why do you think we’re buddies after what happened last time we met, you ruined me!

* Flash Back*

(TONY walks into a nightclub)

Tony: Ladies, ladies calm down…there’s plenty of Tony to go ‘round!

(BRUCE WAYNE walks in)

Tony (cont'd): Bruce…

Bruce: Tony…

(TONY and BRUCE starting throwing money at each other; the LADIES starting pick up the money)

* End Flash Back*

Steve: That doesn’t sound that bad…

Tony: Now that I think about it, you’re right it was actually kinda fun! Welcome Batman, Robin.

(BATMAN and ROBIN enter Avengers Mansion)

TWANSITION

(CONSUELA the maid enters the kitchen where CLINT is making dinner)

Clint: Hey, Consuela…

Consuela: Hola, Senor Barton.

Batman: (off camera) I’m Batman!

(The camera pans over to BATMAN standing on a chair.)

Clint: Dude…Batman, get off the chair.

Batman: Oh my god, Tony…there’s an intruder!

(TONY rushes In)

Tony: Where?

Batman: Don’t worry…I’ve got it!

(BATMAN tackles CONSUELA the maid)

Clint: Oh my god, Tony…Batman just tackled Consuela!

Batman: I got the intruder!

Clint: (stage whisper; to TONY) We have to get rid of him!

Consuela: I’m fine…

Tony: (stage whisper; to CLINT) See, she’s fine…we don’t have to get rid of him.

Clint: Wait…where is Robin?

Batman: Oh, I sent him to get Fried Chicken…

Clint: What the hell! I’m making dinner…I always make dinner on Wednesdays!

Batman: Well…this is awkward.

Tony: Sorry Clint…

(TONY picks up CONSUELA and exits alongside BATMAN)

Clint: Oh, I’ll show them how much of nuisance Batman is…trust me.

(Erie music plays in the background and fades to black.)

TWANSITION